Sit down and settle in for this lesson in Well-Being with Roderick Borrie, Ph.D., sparked by my question “What is Anxiety?”
Fear, stress and anxiety are terms that describe variations of the emotion fear.
When we think that we are being threatened, fear arises. It is an emotion that mobilizes our whole being.
Every system answers the call of that threat and contributes to our readiness to deal with it.
- Muscles tense, heart rate accelerates, blood vessels constrict, cortisol and other energizing hormones are produced.
- Attention becomes hyper focused.
- And to help give more energy to the defenses against that threat, digestions and immune defenses slow down.
We are ready to fight or flee.
Usually, we know what the threat is and can name what we fear. As the number of threats increases, it becomes harder to be specific about the source of our fear. Instead, we feel the physical effects of fear running through us without knowing what is threatening us.
This is what we call anxiety, a prolonged state of physical arousal without knowing what is wrong, but with a constant sense of dread.
The threats that elicit fear vary from large to small. Large would include encountering an armed thief or a vehicle approaching in a dangerous way or a wild creature coming at us. Small and more common threats include impending deadlines or the possibility of being late to an appointment or the thought that you are not making a good impression on someone.
All of these threats contribute to a cumulative level of fear arousal that we call stress.
All of the threats, regardless of magnitude, add up to what we feel as stress.
Not only is stress cumulative, growing with each addition, we tend to habituate to the level of our stress. This means that we get used to our stress level so much that we don’t notice how bad it really is.
We only notice increases in stress, and then get used to them.
This is where stress becomes dangerous because, left unchecked, the physical arousal will cause things to break down. Your body and mind are in hyperdrive and what system is the weakest can start to fail.
You may experience this as high blood pressure, headaches, digestive problems, panic attacks, breathing difficulties, muscle spasms, loss of sex drive, inability to focus and many other symptoms.
Worry is one of the things that we do that adds to fear, anxiety, and stress.
Worry is thinking ahead to the future and imagining what might go wrong. That things could go wrong is a threat and just thinking about it elicits the fight or flight response, which in turn adds to our current level of stress. The more we worry the more stress and anxiety we have.
Worry is not good for us.
If worry is not good for us, why do we do it so much?
One reason is that we are taught to worry, often by our well-meaning, but worrying parents. We grow up thinking it is what you are supposed to do, so we do it. Once you begin to worry about things, it becomes addictive.
Yes, addictive, just like a drug because worrying does produce some very stimulating drugs like cortisol. Compared to being calm and relaxed, being worried can be a stimulating rush.
Worry also gives us the illusion of preparing for the future. By conjuring up all of the horrible things that might happen we feel more ready for those worst possible scenarios.
When I work with chronic worriers, I explain that worry is a habit and habits can be changed.
The best way to change any habit is to catch yourself doing it and choose to do something else instead. The replacement activity must have the same function. This entails figuring out what function worry has for you.
If worry gives you a sense of preparing for the future, try to replace it with problem solving.
Normally, worriers ruminate through a long list of upcoming disasters without ever coming up with any list of possible steps to take. Begin to keep a list of the worries flying through your mind and start making problem solving lists for each one.
Worry causes fear, problem solving reduces fear. If you think your worrying is of an addictive nature, you can try replacing it with some physical activity that will get you physically aroused, like exercise.
The practice of mindfulness is a wonderful antidote to worry.
This is because the goal of mindfulness is to keep your focus in the present moment. By coming to your senses and being fully aware of everything you feel at any given moment you are in a place without fear in most situations.
Worry and fear are about the future and what could possibly happen in the future.
Therefore, another replacement for worry is to remind yourself to be right where you are and fully sense the moment.
Take big, full, deep breaths, filling your entire belly, chest, and body. As you do, focus on taking stock of your immediate surroundings, observing with all your senses.
See that it is a new moment that you’ve never been in before, and see that it is a wonderful moment.
~Dr. Roderick Borrie
